When You're My Girlfriend

I know this is our first date and I think it's meant to be But here's a few things you should know about me ...

There's a zit on my butt and that's wrong I got sh*t in my butt but not for long There's a million things about me that ain't so strong But when you're my girlfriend you'll play along

I got hair in my nose and it's thick I got hair that grows on my d*ck There's plenty of different ways that I could make you sick But when you're my girlfriend you'll deal with it.

Sit back down, where you goin', wait a minute It's not as bad as it seems I know how it sounds let me finish then you'll get it I'm a nightmare, sure, but I'm the man of your dreams

Sometimes when I belch I throw up And when my ass makes gas sometimes poop shows up At any given moment I might erupt But when you're my girlfriend you'll ignore that stuff.

Oh ... and forget about reaching orgasm 'Cuz no lover of mine ever has 'em You see I'm lazy in bed and I come too quick But when you're my girlfriend you'll get used to it.

Sit back down, where you goin', wait a minute It's not as bad as it seems I know how it sounds let me finish then you'll get it I'm a nightmare, yeah, but I'm the man of your dreams

I'm saying that despite all my flaws I 'm perfect for you because You see my trust is blind and my love is true And when you're my girlfriend I'll worship you.

And since I'm an ugly, stinky, flatulent man that's just gonna have to do.